A stalemate is a term used to describe a position in chess where no one can win. It's the opposite of a win-win but it's not a lose-lose. It's worse. It leaves both people in limbo. It's very much like wasted time.

I have a habit of connecting people whom I believe have a need to meet eachother. I think most people do this. However, I recently went overboard with a friend, that everybody needs to meet. He's a consultant who makes a living from giving people powerful information to enhance their lives. He has changed mine. As a favor to me, he always graciously agreed to make a connection. He brought to my attention that none of the people I introduced to him took advantage of the resources he offered through the meeting. As a result, he felt used and under valued. And the people whom he met had no value for the information they recieved because they got it without paying for it. It was a stalemate, no winners.

So here's the lesson. We must understand two things. First, there is a difference between connecting people for mutual benefit and giving away someone else's resources. I am guilty of giving away a friend's time, knowledge and resources. For that I am greatly sorry. Secondly, people don't value what they don't pay for. We must make sure that the person we intend to help realizes their own need before we offer to meet it. It's like giving an answer before the question is asked. So, we must make sure that people appreciate the gifts we give for their own benefit.

Coach Hodge

I have had this problem lately. I have been bumping into myself. Everywhere I go, I seem to be in my own way. I can't seem to get anyting accomplished because I'm running in three or four different directions. Have you ever experienced that?

In Chess, the Pawns are aligned infront of the major pieces. The Pawns must be moved first before the Bishops, Rooks or Queen can get into the game. For new players, this is often an irriation. It seems that our development is being suppressed by these little meaningless pawns. In reality, these pawns serve a very important purpose. One of these is that they protect us from ourselves.

Pawns move one step at a time and they always move forward. The other pieces have the option of moving backwards. This is not the case with Pawns. They can not be jumped over except by the Knight, but that's for a different lesson.

Here's the point, you are the chess player and every piece has its role. Good players master the small steps first. Once we learn master pawn movement, then we are prepared to bring out the more valueble pieces. In my life, I am a very good facilitator. Of all the things I do well, this is probably the most effective thing I do with the least amount of effort. On the road to mastery, one practices a single activity or action until it becomes second nature. Once you reach that level of automation, you can graduate to improvisation.

My advise to you is to do the small the things so well that they dissapear. When your effort is reduced to effortless, you have move out of your own way, until tomorrow.

Coach Hodge 

I grew up in some pretty tough areas. I lived in middle class, lower middle class and economically depressed areas. It was in the latter that I came to understand the importance of surrounding yourself with strong people.

Merely walking home after school required strategic planning in East St. Louis. It was never wise to walk home alone. Everyone knew, almost instinctually, that you needed to walk in packs. There was safety in the pack. Traveling alone made you a target to predators. Thieves, gang bangers, child molesters or worse The Johnson kids. The Johnsons were a family of kids that just like to fight. They had perfected fighting into an art form. They would separate one kid from the pack and like lions, they would all jump on him and take everything he had, including valuables, dignity and self respect. I believe they had a weekly quota of the number of people they had to beat up which they were diligent about meeting. Any kid walking alone was an easy target.

One day winter day, I was playing with my new wristwatch battle tank game. If you didn't grow up in the 80's you will have to Google it for details. Trust me, it was very cool. Well, I was caught up in the game and lagged behind the group. Out of nowhere, SMACK! I felt a hard cold pain in the back of my head. The snow water started running down my back. I had been hit with a snowball. Immediately, I turned around and started using all the curse words I knew. As I turned, I realized I was face to face with Robert Johnson with his brothers standing behind him.

Robert was my age. He was in the 7th grade also. I knew Robert, but he did not play chess. And he was not in the Gifted Program. So, until now, our paths had never crossed. He was a little guy but he had the all the meanness of a full-blooded Johnson. It seemed as if this was his rites of passage ceremony and I was his challenge.

So, there I stood face to face with Robert Johnson and 3 or 4 of his brothers. We exchanged loud words, then stares, pushes and then...within seconds a crowd of a hundred kids surrounded us. It's amazing how that happens. Lucky for me, on this day I had been walking with my brother and a group of his friends, who were older and bigger than the Johnson kids. They jumped into the crowd and defended me from what would have surely been a typically Johnson family beat down.

A funny thing happened that day. Robert and I didn’t have a full-blown fight. However, we did help each other. His willingness to fight a bigger kid allowed him to pass his challenge. And my willingness to fight the whole Johnson Clan gained me notoriety with hundreds of kids.

So here’s the lesson, there are some fights you can’t void. Life itself is a tough battle. Everyday, we fight with decisions, time and resources. And sometimes, unexpected situations arise and hit you in the head. You may turn around and see a situation that appears to be more than you can handle. So, here’s my advise to you now. Surround yourself with people who can help you stand face to face with those challenge. Walk with people who have your best interest at heart. Invest in relationships with people who have been through some struggles who know how to fight and can show you a few things. More than that surround yourself with people who will stand behind you while you engage the fights of your life. Surround yourself with fighters.

Coach Hodge